can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
