I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
