Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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