Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
