It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
