The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize