I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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