Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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