R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
