i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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