You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
