is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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