she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
