Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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