you guys were way drunker than both of me
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Congratulations! We have a period
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