That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
