i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
