For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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