Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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