they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
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