if only i could text you this smell
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
