when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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