Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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