I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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