I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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