real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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