i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize