U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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