The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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