I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
