Yo dont text me then not text me
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
