You're my little dorito
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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