who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
