About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
