It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
