Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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