big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
