I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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