i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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