how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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