1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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