OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i think i have two assholes
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
