the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
