problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
