my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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