Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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