I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
