Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
