Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
