also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
