I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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