Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
