You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
