I'm drive I can fine osifer
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
