Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
