Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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