Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
