dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
