I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
