omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
we're making bets on your personal life
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
