We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
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