Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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