If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize