Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
