It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
