So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
