I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
