I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
