how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
