Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Apparently you make a good broom.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize