i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just pee around me
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
