Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
