Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
